FRIENDS!

I love my friends! They come in a variety of looks and personalities, and they are all precious to me. They are family and not; they are neighbors and not; they are mainlanders and not. I have met them over 50 some years of my life and they have enriched every day.

Over the years we've talked on the telephone, written letters (yes, actual hand-written letters), gone to lunch and movies, visited on vacations, worked together, and laughed and cried together.

My friends have been by my side during the best and worst times of my life. I would not have made it through some of life's trials without the hugs and kind words of my buddies.

I tell my friends often what they mean to me, but I want express here on paper a sincere thank you. Aloha nui!

Words for this Special Season

Our Christmas celebration this year will be more about service and less about "stuff". It just feels right. Our focus will be on the precious gifts brought to earth with the birth of the Son of God: peace, love, and hope. I have a feeling those things will bring us serenity.

"Love cannot remain by itself--it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action, and that action is service."

--Mother Teresa--

Almost December

The last time I posted a blog it was summer--the temperature was hot, the grass green, and the flowers blooming. It is now the end of November--the temperature is cold, the grass is covered in eight inches of snow, and the only flowers I see are the ones I buy at the grocery store.

I'm sorry for the lack of communication. Since Shawn's death in May, George and I have had a hard time getting back to the "normal" of life. In fact, we don't know what "normal" looks like anymore. We also lack energy, which means we take care of the necessities of life and little else.

Not to worry. Our faith is strong and we will move through this, but we have to be reasonable about what we take on and what we let go.

I will try and write a line or two every now and then.

In the meantime...cherish life.

I'm a Conservative

Yep. I am.

I attended the Glenn Beck American Revival meeting in Salt Lake City this past Saturday--that's how conservative I am. The meeting was nothing short of inspiring! The speakers were knowledgeable, articulate, and truthful; the crowd of 6,000 was enthusiastic and respectful (sorry, no racism or short-sightedness); and the message was one of HOPE.

One of the speakers gave this quote--it sort of sums up how I want to go forward in fighting to bring America back to what the original Founding Fathers intended.

"Hope is born of Faith, grounded in Truth, and expressed in Action."

Losing a Child

Parents--you know that feeling when you lose a child in a department store? One moment they're beside you and the next moment they're nowhere to be seen. Your heart drops into your stomach as panic sets in. Your focus becomes only them--finding them--making sure they're safe. You scramble down the aisles, praying silently, and calling their name over and over again. Others in the store sense your distress and helplessness; many come to help.

My husband and I had two very adventurous children, so we've experienced that panic on a few occasions. It's terrible. But, oh the great relief when you finally hear their voice or see their little faces as they come trudging down the aisle with one of the store clerks. After the initial breath and blessed relief, you go through a succession of emotions from joy to anger. It's all because you love them so much.

Almost two months ago, we lost our son. Not to distraction at the mall, but to death. He was thirty-two years old, not six. He was taken by illness, not a self-styled escape from Mom. Never-the-less, the resultant panic and emotion was very much the same. All those in the family who loved him felt absolutely helpless. Others felt our distress and came to help. But, there was no voice heard--no seeing of his face--no store clerk bringing him back to us. It is silence and desolation that goes on and on. We have been through many emotions, because we love him so much. It is pain that actually settles in your heart and makes it hard to breathe.

Here is where faith comes in.

We found ourselves reaching for strength and comfort in our testimonies of spiritual truth. We felt peace from the doctrines of eternal life and the promise of the Resurrection. We held the hand of the Savior as He wept with us and shared our sorrow. This isn't just a bunch of words; this is a tangible comfort that enfolded us and continues to enfold us during the most devastating earthly trial we've had to face.

I may not hear my son's voice right now. I may not see his face. But, I know one day I will. One day I will see him and I will breathe again and I will feel only joy.

The Fourth of July!

Sunday will be the Fourth of July; the celebration for our country’s declaration of independence from the rule of monarchy of Great Britain. It is one of my favorite holidays. I love this country. I stand in awe of the brilliance of the founding fathers, I marvel at the strength and simplicity of the Constitution they scribed, and I cherish the liberty that came of their struggle.

It is a blessing to live in this country—a blessing that many Americans have been lax to appreciate and honor. I think the current attempts to twist this country’s foundational principles have brought a drowsing population awake. City and country Americans alike are renewing their commitment to the tenets of the original Constitutional concepts; they’re speaking out against a transforming of this nation’s purpose; they’re reevaluating their own virtue and values.

Samuel Adams said: “Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt. He therefore is the truest friend of the liberty of his country who tries most to promote its virtue.” Adams also said: “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

George Washington referred to religion and morality as the “great Pillars of human happiness.”

My voice is small, but I concur with these great men who pledged their lives, property, and sacred honor, that in order for America to remain good, her people must be good.

As I pledge allegiance to the flag, this Fourth of July, I will also pledge to be a better person. One by one we can set America back on a path of greatness.

Normal

I spent the day attempting to get my life organized. Over the past month my home, my work, and my mind has been scattered, messed up, and chaotic. And, none of those things denote calmness or equanimity. I've been feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. Then today I heard my mother's voice inside my head telling me that I'd feel better if there were some order to my space.

Another little voice screamed, "It's too much! You can't do it!"


My mother's voice won out though by reminding me to start small and only do a few tasks--her gentle voice reminding me to not try and tackle everything at once.


So, I started small. I sorted the laundry. Then, I washed a load of towels. Then, I put the load of towels in the dryer and placed a load of permanent press in the washer. I even remembered to put in the laundry soap.


Now I know this sounds mundane, but when you've suffered a great loss, it's very difficult to do anything "normal", or to watch other people doing "normal" things. You wonder how life can go on the way it does when your life is altered for all time.

I found there was something soothing about doing mundane everyday things, so I decided to keep on with my tasks. When evening fell I discovered a folding table full of clean clothes, dishes done, and even a trip to the post office accomplished. I also found it easier to breathe.

I know the grief will be sticking around for a long time, and there's nothing I can do about that. But, I know Shawn would be upset with me if I allowed sorrow to get the upper hand. So, tomorrow I plan to go grocery shopping and, the day after that, I might cook dinner. I know it will make me feel better, and...my hubby will be amazed.