The China Book and Liberty

The China book is finished and off to my editor. It was a difficult book to write, not because of the extensive research, or the shortened duration of time to get it done, but because of the subject matter. I became quite sick at heart because of what the Chinese people had to suffer at the hands of Mao Tse-tung. He was not a nice person. I used many first hand autobiographical book sources in my research, and their stories were wrenching. I also spoke to several people whose families escaped from mainland China when the Communists took over. They went to Hong Kong and Taiwan, and they were very candid in their feelings of Chairman Mao and the devastation he brought to the country they love.

Therefore, it amazes me that anyone would say they admire Mao Tse-tung. All one has to do is a little bit of research to discover he is not a man to use as a role model for anything. Of course, even in America, there are people with strong yearnings for a Socialist/Communist government who admire the brutality of Marx and Engles' philosophy. And it is brutal. You look at any leader and administration who has twisted their government into a Communist regime and it is always done through terror, torture, and brutality.

I am so grateful that I live in the United States of America. I thank divine Providence that this country of America was founded on principles of law and liberty. I honor the Founding Fathers for their deep investigation of all types of government which enabled them to forge such a miraculous document--the Constitution of the United States.

I ask that you think long and hard about where "we the people" want to guide this country in the coming crucial years. We still have the amazing ability to choose. Let's not lose it through apathy.

Focus

There are times when my mind functions well. I feel calm and organized. Other times? Not so much. Such has been the case the last couple of months. My mind has lacked focus. I've been working on my next novel on Mao Tse-tung and the Cultural Revolution, and have had to force myself to focus on researching and writing. Historical tidbits are the life blood of a historical novel and normally I have the discipline to endure the hours of reading, outlining, and refining necessary to get the historical events into the story. This time it's been tough. I think part of the problem was the subject matter. Mao was a despicable person and his reign from 1949-1976 was one of suffering and sorrow for the people of China. I became mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I think the other (and more poignant) reason for lack of focus was the personal grief I was experiencing as the first anniversary of our son's death drew near. We had been told by others who had lost children that the first anniversary was difficult. Without question. As we went through March and April and into May I felt my mind wandering and my heart sorrowing. I didn't want to deal with the everyday demands of life (laundry, grocery shopping, cooking) let alone writing a book, or fostering friendships. It was a tough time.

I'm better now. My hubby, daughter, and myself have a deep love for each other. We also have good friends that rallied around us, and a strong faith in God. With all this, we survived the horrendous time.

I also learned to be gentle with myself. There are going to be times when, for one reason or another, I'm not going to be able to be focused, and it's okay. Sometimes forcing focus in one direction keeps us from seeing a new vista.